They asked him if he wanted a 1-5 on the spicy scale.

He ordered a 4286.

He sent it back because it wasn’t hot enough and then burned the place to the ground with the laser beams that shoot out of his eyes.

 
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Fucking Kevin Rice.
 
Fucking Kevin Rice doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
 
Outer space exists because it’s too lame to be on the same planet with Fucking Kevin Rice.
 
 
Fucking Kevin Rice is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
 
Fucking Kevin Rice’s hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
 
Fucking Kevin Rice doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is. There are only THREE times it ever is: time to ride bikes; time to gamble; or time to go to the titty bar.
 
If you have five dollars and FKR has five dollars, FKR has more money than you.
  
Apple pays FKR 99 cents every time he listens to a song. His only reaction to every song is surprise.
  
FKR is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

We now know this semi as FKR Prime!

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FKR Prime

And that’s what I call REAL Ultimate Power!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you don’t believe that FKR has REAL Ultimate Power you better get a life right now or he will chop your head off!!!  It’s an easy choice, if you ask me.

FKR is sooooooooooo sweet that I want to crap my pants.  I can’t believe it sometimes, but I feel it inside my heart.  This guy is totally awesome and that’s a fact.  FKR is fast, smooth, cool, strong, powerful, and sweet.  I can’t wait to start yoga next year.  I love FKR with all of my body (including my pee pee).

Kevin Rice doesn’t see dead people… he makes dead people.

But SexManAsian is not just a man, SexManAsian is a philosophy; a way of life.

SexManAsian is the power to get up in the morning, eat your cereal, and then go out the front door ready to bend the world over, one person at a time.

SexManAsian is the uncanny ability to look like a completely harmless little albino mouse, and then when everyone least expects it TEAR THEM LIMB FROM LIMB.

SexManAsian is the ability to conquer one of the most inpenetrable fortresses in the western hemisphere known only as “Las Vegas” using nothing but willpower, twenty dollar roulette bets, and a pocketfull of one dollar bills.

SexManAsian is what we all aspire to be, whether we know it or not.

with the bikes out of the way FKR was free to concentrate on why he really came to Vegas…

Our founder, doing what he does best, kicking ass, and taking names.